i'm continually changing

Well it's been a long time since my last update... August 9th.
SO much has changed since then. I've pretty much gone through my whole senior year, haha.
I'm mad at myself for not updating this. But that is one thing that will change.

I'd rather this blog be mostly about art but it will have its occasional rant here and there.
I don't have any new new art to show so I thought I'd post a little rant on life. :)

It's so frustrating when you come across a bump in the road and you can't seem to get passed it. And I'm not talking literally.
Why is that one day I'm okay and the next day I'm not? Why is it that the problem I have is not fixing itself? Why is that time feels like it's making it worse and not healing?
Why is it that no one can say anything to help me?
I don't know what to do anymore. I just keep getting up in the morning and continue living my life. Acting like everything is okay, distracting myself to forget for awhile... it doesn't really work. Not really. Because when I go back to being alone it all comes flooding back and I find myself asking the very same questions posted above.
In 1 week will things be different? In 2 weeks will things be different? In a month? In a couple of months? A year? 2 years? I honestly don't know at this point. I mean, I hope things will be different. But a lot of people hope for things. That really doesn't mean anything...
I don't believe in wishing. Wishing is stupid and only hurts you even more. It gets you nowhere. You don't need to wish for anything. If you want something, you have to go after it.
If it's unattainable then there's a reason why. There's some things in life you can't have. I know that but, at the same time... it just makes me want it more.
My brain has given up but my heart hasn't. I don't know what is coming in the future. I don't know how I'm going to react. All I know is I'll just continue living out this cycle and try my best to keep that painted smile on. Until something happens and I can find that feeling again.

Ok! Sorry for the emo post. But I had to get it out. I hope to post some more art soon.
I don't have a lot of time for art at the moment. But once I'm done with school I definitely will.

Peace out, guys!